Saturday, 8 January 2011

I was robbed

Shortly before the Christmas break the arms race began. And I lost.

At my day job we have recently taken to competing at who can festoon their desks with the most and garish Christmas decorations. This leads to place being turned from a fairly respectable open-plan office into something which resembles the aftermath of a bomb planted in a box of tinsel.

I decided to "up the game" this year by creating what I hoped would be a tasteful and eco-friendly sculpture. One trip to a local bit of scrubland, one can of spray glitter and a collection of recycled shiny things later and below was the result. I am also reading up on my Norse mythology at present, so the connection of the branches to Yggdrasil was inspiring.

Although everyone commended me on my efforts, I sadly did not win. The CEO (who deems the competition A Good Thing and so is keen to support it) recognized my environmentally-friendly efforts and gave me a consolation prize. Everyone who competed and did not win got a consolation prize of some description though, so I am not sure what mine really signifies. Other than the CEO is pretty smart, and that's probably how she got to be the CEO.

My beloved tree sculpture. Notice how my colleague is so overwhelmed by the beauty of the thing that he simply cannot bear to look at it. He is seeking respite from the excess of aesthetic pleasure in his Access database.

This is my friend and colleague JMC. Notice how he's "lording it" over me by pretending to be a starfish. He won the competition by virtue of his colour coordinated effort. You'll see the colour he chose is purple. A brief Google tells me this signifies sorrow and suffering. Which is what he's in for now he's robbed my of my rightful accolade.
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  1. Apparently the mistake was going for eco-friendliness in an office, which is one of the most eco-offensive creations of man ever to be foisted upon the universe. What with upholstered cube walls and carpeting that can withstand nuclear, chemical, and sorcerous fire, it's a wonder that more offices aren't assaulted by angry hordes of Ents.

    Also, the contest was obviously rigged.

  2. Actually, now you mention it I think some of my colleagues are Ents.

  3. Hmm... that would explain their aversion to the decorated remains of one of their comrades.

  4. I forced my minions into cute costumes. That did it.


  5. Ah, now I recall you did buy one of the girls a pair of fairy wings.